As a carer, you understand the demands that come with looking after someone. Whether it’s a family member, friend, or neighbour, the responsibility can often feel overwhelming. While caring for others is rewarding, it’s easy to neglect your own wellbeing when you are focused on someone else.

One of our carers said, “If you don’t look after yourself, how can you find the energy to care for someone else?”. Spot on. Many of us are guilty of not looking after our own wellbeing when we are busy looking after someone else’s.

This is where self-compassion becomes not just helpful, but essential.

Let’s understand what Self-Compassion is

Self-compassion involves treating yourself with the same kindness and understanding that you would offer to someone you care about. It’s about recognising that you, too, deserve compassion, especially during difficult times. Instead of being overly critical, judgemental, or hard on yourself, self-compassion encourages you to acknowledge the challenges you face and care for your own needs, without guilt.

The benefits of practising Self-Compassion

• Reduced stress and anxiety: Caring for others can be emotionally draining, and it’s easy to become overwhelmed. Practising self-compassion helps to reduce stress and anxiety by allowing you to take a step back, breathe, and recognise that you’re doing your best.
• Increased resilience: When you approach your difficulties with kindness, you build resilience. This resilience enables you to recover back from setbacks more easily, making it easier to continue in your role without burning out.
• Better physical health: Chronic stress can lead to a host of health issues, including high blood pressure, fatigue, and a weakened immune system. Self-compassion helps to mitigate these.
• Improved emotional wellbeing: By treating yourself with compassion, you’re more likely to experience positive emotions and a greater sense of wellbeing. This can help you maintain a more positive outlook.

Practical ways to practise Self-Compassion

1. Acknowledge your feelings: It’s okay to feel tired, frustrated, or overwhelmed. Allow yourself these feelings without judgement. Simply recognising what you’re going through is a powerful act of self-compassion.
2. Treat Yourself Like a Friend: Ask yourself what you would say to a friend in your situation. Offer those same words of encouragement and understanding to yourself. You deserve the same kindness you would offer to others.
3. Take Breaks: It is important to take breaks and give yourself time to recharge to avoid burnout. Even short moments of rest can make a significant difference. Whether it’s a walk outside, a few minutes of deep breathing, or enjoying a cuppa, these small acts can help you reset.
4. Set Boundaries: Setting boundaries is a form of self-compassion that allows you to manage your energy and avoid becoming overwhelmed. This might mean asking for help when you need it. Remember, taking care of yourself isn’t selfish; it’s often necessary.
5. Engage in self-care: Make time for activities that recharge and relax you, whether it’s taking a walk, reading a book, or spending time with family or friends. These moments of self-care are important for maintaining your mental and physical health.
6. Practice Mindfulness: Mindfulness involves being present in the moment without judgement. When you find yourself being self-critical, gently bring your attention back to the present and remind yourself that it’s okay.
7. Seek Support: Don’t hesitate to seek support from others. Whether it’s talking to a friend, joining a support group, or seeking professional help, reaching out is a compassionate step toward your own well-being.

Remember, as a carer, you are doing incredible work and it’s okay to have moments of doubt or exhaustion.

Incorporating self-compassion into your daily life doesn’t require a complete overhaul of your routine. Start small, with a few minutes each day dedicated to mindfulness or self-care. Gradually, these practices will become habits, helping you build a foundation of self-compassion that supports you and your caring role.